Don’t Say It’s a Compliment. It’s Not.
Catcalling is taking its toll on millions of women, yet many people (perhaps even you) don’t care
I remember it almost like it was yesterday.
He whistled and yelled out “Hey there, cutie. Where do ya think you’re going?”
I was only twelve years old, and I didn’t understand this encounter. Who was this man? I didn’t know him. But, I knew that I didn’t like him talking to me.
I was attending summer classes in a new city and had stayed late after class, so I had to walk the few hundred feet to my dorm by myself. The man was sitting on the set of steps I was headed towards, and a few minutes after I left the building where my classes were, he catcalled me. Realizing there was only one path to my dorm, I began to quicken my pace, wanting to get away as fast as possible. Halfway up the stairs, I heard his jacket rustle, and I broke into a full sprint, running as fast as I could to my dorm. In the background, I could hear his ugly laugh.
A few minutes later, I burst in through the door. People were sitting in the lounge room, but no one noticed as I, out of breath, turned to go up the stairs to the rooms.
When I reached my room, the lights were off, and I assumed that my roommates were downstairs. When they came back later that night, I didn’t tell either of them because I didn’t want to worry them. But, the next day, it came up when I was talking with one of my friends who I had met earlier that summer.
I told her about the guy, but she just shrugged her shoulders and asked “Was he cute?”
Though I was appalled, I didn’t say anything. She didn’t seem to think it was a big deal.
Later that day, I looked up “creepy male strangers calling women cute,” and the results were several articles and stories about instances of catcalling. That is how I came to learn about this danger that is ever-present in our society.
Street harassment has been around since the beginning of time, yet there are still many people who don’t see it as a problem.
“Come on, he’s complimenting you,” they would say.
But, that’s disgusting. A 2015 study found that, across women from 22 countries, 84% of women have experience street harassment by the age of 17, proving that my story is not just an exception. Think about that. We aren’t even adults, yet we have already been subjected to the sick pleasures of men (by the way, this doesn’t mean that it’s okay for grown-up women to be catcalled).
As young girls turn into adults, the so-called “compliments” turn into physical harm. A report from earlier this year concluded that 81% of women have experienced sexual harassment in their life. That’s outrageous: even after the interactions have turned physical, there are many who still don’t believe the stories of victims who are just trying to get help.
Following the rise of the #MeToo movement, more women have been coming forward with their experiences, trying to build solidarity to confront this issue. However, at the same time, many women are still silenced. Whether their abuser was a boss, supervisor, or even family member, it’s difficult for many women to speak out.
If we don’t teach men that they cannot treat women like objects, they will continue to harm women, using their power or relationship with the victim. They need to learn that even these smaller acts of harassment are not okay, and they cannot continue to violate the rights of women because we deserve to be able to live without fearing these interactions.
There are so many people who still don’t recognize how big of a deal street harassment is. For me, even three years later, I still feel the fear that I had in that moment. I can’t walk anywhere by myself without being scared that something like that will happen. Not only do I feel uncomfortable, but I also know that there is a chance that an incident like what happened a few years ago could easily escalate. And even in a professional setting, knowing that there are men like Harvey Weinstein still out there, it’s impossible to ever feel safe.
Take a look around you, and see what the men in your lives are doing. Are they respecting women? Or are they treating women like objects, thinking that it’s okay? Even if they are your loved ones, remind them that it’s not okay. Let’s make the change that is needed because without it, women will continuously face sexual assault each and every day. Together, we can build a society that understands that catcalling and other forms of assault are not okay and one that is free of these dangers.
